I have the most godawful cramp in my hand. It hurts like a motherfucker and I can't believe I was stupid enough to push it that far. But it feels amazing. Because it's a Wacom induced cramp. I learnt all over again how to draw so intensely that it hurts. After not even touching the damned thing for a year or so, apart from a few attempts that were just painful and futile.

For a while there I thought my ability to draw had gone away when I got better. I guess it was just hiding. Or maybe it was because I 'moved on', went right back down the same road again, and came out this time with a new perspective.

I mean it would help if any of what I've done was actually good, but it's getting there!

um.

The best thing that happened to me this year: seeing The Chills for their reunion show. The clean-cute generic good-looking business man next to me said 'I never thought I'd see this' and that was probably what everyone in the room thought. Amazing.

all the top whatever music lists of 2009 are coming out and they're all awful. mine would be much better :| well, at least that AWFUL weezer album isn't on any I've seen so far! there is always a positive!

..doing a double major is easier than a single major and minor. Who would have thought?!

My exam results were disastrous, so I've just sat down and worked out all my options.

My plan for a while has been to complete my BA, then go to the one year Creative Advertising course at Media Design School. The reason for that is to get back into being creative again, and also to make contacts to get a leg up into the industry.

What I'm going to do is actually apply for the 2010 intake. If I get in, I will most probably go. In the mean time, I'm doing Sociology and English papers for second semester. I may change my major to one of those; I may keep it as Psych.

If I don't get in for 2010, I'm going to complete my BA - however, I probably won't finish until first semester 2011, depending on what exactly I try do it. It's possible I *may* be still able to graduate on time, depends on summer school offerings and what major I choose. I know if I change back to English, I could graduate on time or only have one or two classes left over, which I could easily complete in the future. The main problem is, the Creative Advertising degree has only one intake every year - so at this point I am looking at either 2010 or 2012 intake - 2011 may just not be possible.

I think I did so badly in Psych because I took too many papers and I really, really find it hard to handle after what happened to Dad. I know I now never want to work in the field - I just want to finish my degree and leave. All three degrees I'm considering are equally unmarketable, hahaha. English would probably be best - we shall see.

I thought the necklace I bought on TradeMe was small. It turned out to be MASSIVE. It's the size of my palm:



It's also very long, as is the fashion. This is a boon as I am lazy, and the chain is so long it just goes over your head, doesn't need to be undone.

Very statement type piece. Will have to wear in moderation but it will be AWESOME when worn right. A+++++++++++ would buy again

Went on girly shopping trop today! One thing I actually needed was a new pair of boots. Number 1 Shoes were doing a buy one, get one free on boots, so I got two pairs for $45.

This is the practical pair:


link

And the ~frivolous~ pair of ankle boots (booties!) I got for free:


link

Before I left this morning, I found something I was looking for - a jump ring to make a necklace. Unfortunately there was a clasp attached to it I couldn't get off, so I just went with it. Might try and get it off again later.

This was a phone charm Brent's mum gave me. I had it on my wallet until the strap broke, and decided to make it a necklace! It fits on more than one chain, but the choker chain worked best with what I had on.



Plus, I just bought this from TradeMe for $12:



My third piece of owl related jewelry!

I got it from this seller, who has tons of stuff at low reserve. I'm a bit miffed that their Pandora charm bracelet knockoffs don't have removable charms though. I can't afford a full Pandora bracelet at $1000+, so I was going to get a cheap bracelet and mix a few genuine Pandora charms that I LOVE with charms from the cheaper brands. Although tbh I wear necklaces more, and there's a necklace designed for Pandora charms..

SUPER productive day.

Hahhahahah. I just saw myself in the mirror when I got back from the supermarket. I just threw on anything today that was reasonably warmish. A couple of weeks ago I went with Mum to Smith & Caugheys to get a proper bra fitting done (shock and horror, wtf, when did I become a D cup) and bought nice expensive bras. One of them I picked up was padded because I was sick of winter + thin tops = hello. Also it was really cute and I normally hate padding but it was adorable >.> The sales assistant was all, 'yeah at this size the padding isn't too much!' This is the one I happened to be wearing today.

I look in the mirror and with this top I look like a freakin' porn star. It's low cut and has this detailing on the bust that makes it look like I am straining the buttons and my top is going to burst open at any second PLEASE ENTER YOUR PIN NUMBER TO VIEW THIS R18 CONTENT. Not to mention I am already like five feet tall, I did not need to make them bigger. It didn't look like this the last time I wore it - I had to tighten the bra because I was falling out during some strenuous physical exercise (bending behind and around the TV cabinet installing things) and ahahahha. Okay. Need to remember to do more buttons up/wear a different bra/wear a camisole with this top because hot damn obviously I should have PAID MORE ATTENTION BEFORE I WENT OUT looking like a two bit hooker oh god.

Anyway. MOVING ON.

So, who else read the Animorphs books as a kid? I just found a website with all what, 50 books in pdf format..SO tempted to read them all again :p Actually I think I was over it by the last ones so I never read them. It just bugged me so a few years later I googled them to find out how it ended. I might just go read the last few...

Mmm! Going out tomorrow to pick up film fest tickets, and just hang out with Brent :) Girly talk and shopping time on Wednesday with Byul..and I gotta find a good Asian supermarket reasonably nearby / on the bus route / in town. Am going to make onigiri to take for lunches next semester, but I don't have the right kind of rice or something. This will probably end very badly but come on they can't be THAT hard to make. (Famous last words).

(That was an excellent jump in topics.)

I have internet at new house! Finally! Voda screwed us over for a week! And now we can't get rid of the call diversion a nice CSR set up..he set it for us so we wouldn't have to pay for their incompetence. Now every time we call to get it fixed, our account doesn't show as having call diversion. What a pain.

I also gave in and bought a new iPod on sale for $189. Massive deal. In stores, that model is $250. I got an Apple Refurb which would normally be $209 but they're on sale this week for some reason, so down to $189. New iPod and it didn't make me broke!

I stepped on mine. It works, but the back has a MASSIVE gouge down it because I stepped on it while I was walking and it ground against the nasty footpath. It was one of those old cheap bits of footpath that have gravel mixed into the concrete, and after I picked up my iPod, where I dropped it was GREEN from the anodized aluminum coating coming off. If it had happened about a metre later, there was nice new smooth footpath and while it would still be scratched it would not have been nearly as bad. Great.

And of course, I bought another green iPod. Couldn't resist. Was close to pink, but the green is so gorgeous. Now, just waiting for it to get here >.<

Dad has been coming home a lot. He was helping my uncle build us a garage this week. The unit we bought came with a carport, but the guy next to us had built his into a garage by closing in the walls. That meant we only had to put one wall, a door and possibly a new floor into ours. So we have space to store all our junk! Neighbour looks like a handyman - he's built a lot of stuff in the communal garden area, like trellises. It'll look really nice! He also built a trellis separating the front porch where both our doors are, so we have a really sunny north-facing porch area, large enough for our table and chairs.

It was annoying though - the people who renovated the flat cheaped out on both the locks and the showerhead, so we had to replace both of those. First the seal on the showerhead broke, then the front door stuck because the sill wasn't quite right, and the door handle came out. The locksmith also fixed the sill for us, so it won't happen again. The rest of it has a really nice finish, but obviously towards the end they went for cheaper fittings. It also turns out most of the stuff (like the kitchen) came from Bunnings, so since we want to expand the workspace in there a bit, we can go get it perfectly matched.

Also my room is HUGE. I got to keep my double bed, got a new dresser and bedside cabinet, and the computer fits. Except now I have too many books and need a new bookcase. I got into the habit of leaving books in the old bookcase in the garage, which is of course not here..and now they won't fit in my dinky little one. It's not my fault Borders used to have awesome coupons! Ugh, but starting in 2009 they now suck hardcore. It used to be like 30 - 50% off any book, now it's like 20% off purchases of $50 or more, or 10% off [new book hipsters are fapping over that I have no interest in].

I miss having a best friend.

Ideal self: You should study really hard for your exam. You have plussage so you could get an awesome mark!
Actual self: Wow. I haven't used my Xbox 360 in a while.

Ideal self: Look at all those powerpoints and make notes! Rogers! Freud! Bruce Perry counts too!
Actual self: Oooh look, there's new DLC for Burnout Paradise next week.

Ideal self: You could at least prepare for the essay question that was given.
Actual self: Now how much is 1000 MS points in real currency?

Ideal self: IT'S A GIFT QUESTION. GO AND GODDAMN DO IT ALREADY.
Actual self: Hurrrrr yes I need some achievements.

See now according to Rogers' phenomenological theory I can never be happy because there is a lack of congruence between my ideal and actual self :(

(Hah! See! I just did some revision!)

If anyone would like a kickin' rad forest green leather jacket w/ belt I am putting one on TradeMe tomorrow. You know when you get given free clothes and you think 'well, maaaaaybe I could make that work' but it turns out I am just not a forest green leather jacket person and also it is a bit too big for me. Mainly because I am all of five feet one and it looks too long.

I hate jackets. I always look like a little kid playing dress up because the length is just too long unless I get something like a size 8 that barely buttons (but that was free too!) and even then it fits like the manly/boyfriend style that is in.

I dread the day I ever have to buy a suit and the money it will cost me to alter it.

Also going to put on a bunch of skirts that do not fit me (too big, in one case too small) and as much as it pains me, my ball dress. It is way too big for me.

I just looked at one skirt I own and it says it's a 10, but it's HUGE. It's at least a 14 and I would not be surprised if it was a 16. Depends on whether it's meant for the hips or the waist, I say it would look better on a high waist...but considering when/where I got it, it's supposed to be on the hips, making it a 16 D: It looks weird on me because it's both way too big and way too long for a shorty (yo). That's like a brown tweed kind of pattern with pleats. I think it's supposed to be knee length or just above, it hits my shins because it's too big and I'm short.

Have got to get rid of a bunch of clothing before I move. This lot is only from the wardrobe and I already have one jacket, three skirts and the ball dress. Thought about selling the suit jacket/blazer but I do kind of like it. Unfortunately it's a proper one from Staxs and not a mock one from Glassons or Portmans so if I ever wore it, it would need dry cleaning :/ Still. It almost fits me ;______;

soooo excited! as my reward, the night of the stats exam (AFTER the exam and I've got a week plus until the next ones) I'm going to the one-off show by the Chills for the 25th anniversary! As far as I know the last time they played live in Auckland was 2004 or so and I honestly never expected to go see them. I also don't expect that album they talked about in 2004 to ever come out, but oh my gosssssh this is awesome.

Considering this is for the anniversary of the release of Pink Frost I think this is the one case where one can be sure your favourite song will be played >.> (well, I have SO MANY favourites that at least some have to be played!).

I also looked at my CD collection and discovered two things;
1) I don't own ANY Death Cab for Cutie (no excuse, must go buy some)
2) The artist I own the most albums by is actually The Chills (I suppose probably because they were harder to torrent, bwahaha)

Am super pissed that I didn't realize the Red Bull Sound Clash was the last time the Mint Chicks were playing here for a while. Really wanted to see them play Screens (they did some songs at the one I went to last year but it's always better once you actually KNOW the songs). Le sigh.

We just bought a house for $30,000 less than what we were expecting to pay! Through a stroke of luck, the other buyers at the auction were investors and didn't really want it - our competition wasn't able to get approval for the mortgage in time for the auction. We were cash buyers so no worries there. Exactly what we wanted - small, two bedroom unit, solid 60s construction but with the bonus of being fully renovated inside.

( pictures stolen from real estate agent )

How awesome are those lime accents in the kitchen? It's a glass splashback too, fancy. Move in at the end of next month. It's in Blockhouse Bay.

This is me procrastinating because I can't remember how to do a t-test with this data and my stats book is on the other side of the room. I will go get it at 11:30 which is in 8 minutes time!

Am I the only person who hates it when people who are entirely too old for that shit (as in, when you can not add'-teen' to your age) post esoteric lines on their livejournal info page to summarize their personality into a few succinct phrases? Hello. You could write in proper sentences and not rapid fire obscure hipster language. I'm talking about when people have a huge paragraph of sentences that are three words or less. Seriously. Get over yourself. Bonus douchebag points if you use weird punctuation instead of fullstops.

Mmm. Lol, so speaking of douchebags. I have a huge secret crush on Cliff Bleszinski. Okay, well obviously it's not secret anymore. Dude just oozes essence of twit from every pore and everything that comes out of his mouth is just ridiculous but the reality is, I would do anything he asks. Like that ridiculous chair story that was floating around? That was actually kind of hot.

And yes, it is now 12:20 and I TOTALLY DID IT.

Met five people at Lynmall today while in a huge hurry to shop. Why is this the default goddamn place to hang out around here?! (How dare other people be at the mall?! :p) Probably thought I was snubbing them.

Had a really, really weird dream last night about a guy I haven't seen in a good couple of years. Thank god he was not at Lynmall. That's just the kind of thing that would happen to me (I know he lives in the area like oh, everyone else we went to HS with and probably works there). Not what I need right now when my precious is not here this weekend :( I mean, it's just weird - we don't live close enough to go and see each other at the drop of a hat, but knowing he's not even in the same city just seems so much more distant, even though it doesn't really change the fact that I can't just go see him anyway.

I had so not realized that the most expensive part of moving for me is going to be all my computer equipment. Currently everything is in one room so everything is connected with cables, meters and meters of carefully run cable that cost me like $20 (and oh god I just realized it is going to be a bitch to dismantle) but now it looks like if we get this house we are looking at, all this equipment is going to be split across at least two rooms (my bedroom and the living room).

This is going to cost me (since I'm the only person who uses all this computer gear) hundreds of dollars. Not kidding. The current estimate is over $300 to get all the network gear properly hooked up. Last year, I decided to save a princely $35 and buy a solely wired router. This has bit me in the ass. To the tune of $300. If I had a wireless router I would only need to spend $180 at most. Fffffffff.

Bastards won't give me a piggy bank.

*sulk*

First they gave them out to new kid customers, now new customers in general, and I still don't get one?! I've had an account there since 2004! Well. I don't actually use it. MAYBE I WOULD IF YOU WOULD GIVE ME A DAMN PIG they cost what, 70c to make, I'm sure you could spare some :|

I hate and love going through my closet. Sometimes I find awesome clothes that I have never worn (bought out of season, bought and regretted but now am inspired) one of which is a cute winter dress for tomorrow! but sometimes...ugh. There are two skirts in there that haunt me.

The first is cute, but way too big for me. Way too big. My mother however thinks it's lovely and flattering. No. It's awkward. It should be worn with a higher waist, but it fits around my hips. This wouldn't be too bad if I wasn't a bloody midget. It's too long and looks stupid. Every now and then I forget this fact, pull it out, try it on and just get discouraged. Hm. Needs to go.

The second is from when I was a size 8, apparently. I can still get it on, and it fits my waist - all the weight I've gained is below there. It's just fooling myself though - every time I try it on to see if I got any thinner, I hold my breath when taking it off in fear it is going to rip. God damn. Why can I not get back to that size - oh wait, because I didn't eat for half a year. Maybe I should try that again, because at least I looked great!

On the nicer side of clothes, I solved my sizing dilemma and realized why I didn't fit a women's large hoodie at Huffer - my glasses. I was having trouble getting it over my head, and that biased me to think it wasn't fitting right in the top. It was my glasses making the neck a tight fit when putting it on, which is of course discouraging. Lesson learnt. Go to the store with the nicer assistants. The first store had a hot assistant, who was unhelpful (but oh god he was HOT) and the second store had a pretty not my taste dude, who was about a hundred times nicer. Cheapskates on Khyber Pass <3 Going back to actually buy stuff and not just try stuff on, even though the guy was soooo nice about it.

Want a $200 dress. Will not buy $200 dress. Cannot buy it. No. Don't do it.

In the really bad news department, because of all the dicking around for sizing (I still swear their measurements are a little off - the t-shirt I ordered is in measurements slightly bigger than others I own, but in reality is a tight fit. the good kind of tight fit I hasten to add) my hoodie is now on backorder SO I HAVE TO FREEZE FOR TWO WEEKS. God DAMN. IT CAN'T KEEP ME WARM IF IT'S NOT HERE GUYS. ffffff. breathe.

I also cannot believe my glasses are that wide! They're so cuuuute though <3 Really need to take some pics.

I love going to uni because not wearing a uniform every day has made me actually care about clothes. That has also made me rather poor because all my money that does not go to bills goes to clothes and I am always, always, ALWAYS broke at the end of the week. Will regret this when my iPod dies and I am stranded. It has dementia. You choose a song, it plays a different one while displaying the tags of the song you chose. My music is tagged just fine >.> It also refuses to let me put Pink Frost by the Chills on there. My favourite song ever. I drag it on. It says it's copied. It's not there! The strange thing was, it has been on my iPod ever since I got it, through every restore, it goes back on. I didn't delete it, it just disappeared one day. And now refuses to go back :(

Also, fuck psych 207, that was the second worst assignment I have ever done. I think my topic was okay, it just wasn't very long. Although I may reconsider that when I get my biopsych essay back. Fuck bio essays, it's a stupid format for such factual information. You can just state facts and read ten thousand research articles and spit them back out again. Half my sentences were like (insert obvious point here) (insert at least 3 references that back it up). There's like no drawing of conclusions or anything that you'd normally do in an essay. They should have switched the 207 and 202 assignments - write an essay for Personality & Development, do a research report for Biopsych based on an experiment done in labs. So much more SENSE.

fffff. bedtime.

I'm thinking I was right when I said in psych the other week that my most important quality in other people was that they agree with me and are not stupid. I really gotta stop reading websites about people I disagree with (see: the crazy rabid childfree, fat acceptance, fucking otherkin, self righteous polyamorists and deluded mothers of babies with NO BRAINS, literally, anencephaly can be cured don't you know :|) and like, do my assignments.

At this rate there is no way I'll even get into honours, let alone postgrad, so it's about time I made a plan B. Preferably one that does not involve MORE student debt.

Saw an awesome house we want to buy. Auction is in two days. We don't have the money for another couple of weeks. I hope the people selling it are assholes who hold out for a higher offer then realize when we rock up two weeks later that it's the best they're gonna get and we have a fabulous home. The hallway is BRIGHT ORANGE, the kitchen is yellow with lime accents, dining room is deep aqua, living room is deep indigo, bedrooms are pale lime and mid aqua. I would never paint it, ever. Except the laundry because it's uh...got gypsy patterns all over.

Mum said she'd compromise and we could have an indigo feature wall in the lounge fuck yeah. Probably won't get it though :( It's perfect. Bedrooms are huge, big but messy yard, storage space and it even has heat pumps, whaaaaat.

If not, other good news! Dad had the shunt operation (Wiki) and he's regained all his motor skills! Unfortunately he still has the other problems that come with frontal lobe damage (behavioural basically) and while that's improved, still not good. He escaped twice this week. He walked all the way from Unitec to the plant barn at St Lukes. After being basically immobile for five months. I have no idea either. We're waiting for Taikura Trust to assess him and hopefully send him to long term rehab at Cavits.

This means that now we can buy a house with stairs, as he'd be safe on them now, just in case he comes home like we hope. That opens up a LOT more options, although now with townhouses and such you have leaky building worries :/ God this buying a house crap is difficult. Auckland is ridiculous. Even with our modest needs - 2 double bedroom, unit/townhouse/apartment, (although apartment is last resort) in okay suburb so Mt Roskill/Blockhouse Bay/Lynfield/Royal Oak/One Tree Hill/the not scungy part of Onehunga - you are looking at $350k PLUS. However some places listed at $345k have been going at $310k, which is positive!

Ah well. Should get cracking on my two essays and three assignments (it's MEAN having a 1000 word assignment due on Friday and an 1800 word assignment due on Wednesday FOR THE SAME CLASS). Can do stats tomorrow, then stupid 1000 word research assignment, then full weekend day each for stupid 2500 word biopsych essay and stupid 1800 word research proposal. It's okay, I'm broke, I can't go out if I wanted to :|

Had an epiphany. I feel really sorry for Miley Cyrus.

You know it is a good day when you have two hours with zero commitments on your time in any form and your biggest decision was 'do I watch Beverly Hills Chihuahua or The Devil Wears Prada?'.

Back to Miley Cyrus and her ilk. Am I the only one creeped out by how Twitter seems to be their actual personal method of communication? I checked it out on a lark expecting to laugh at some manufactured messages sent out by an underpaid PA and...ugh, I feel like I'm eavesdropping :/

I think I kind of preferred it when celebrities didn't write their own blog entries.

In adorable news:

I almost never go into a JayJays store. Last time, it was just to pick up a new hoodie..like a year ago, because they sell the proper thick fleece type. I was under the impression that they just sold kinda annoying retro cartoon tees for people too young to remember said cartoons.

It is probably a good thing I did not find out until today that they also sell Sanrio/Hello Kitty. Oh boy. Thankfully I only saw two tees, and therefore only had to buy those two, and am not bankrupt. I quickly removed myself from the store in case I saw more. Also got a super cute basic red cardi on sale at the Warehouse, which goes with both new shirts, since HK has a red bow. I have bought three cardigans in two weeks. This is a bit extreme.

Shirt also arrived from Threadless last week and got it's first outing today. Btw, for shipping to NZ, when they have sales it is quite a deal. We got two tees from the US$10 sale. With shipping, that worked out to NZ$25 each, which is a good deal for shirts of this quality. Threadless shirts also show up often in Recycle Boutique downtown, but every time I see them they're always the Girly Small size, which is TINY. I'm a medium, and that's a snug, tight fit in this shirt. In some brands, I can fit into a small and it's just a bit tight, as opposed to merely fitting. In Threadless and American Apparel, this is never going to happen. The last time I saw a small Threadless shirt, I actually picked it up and went 'oh, HELL no.'

I got this one. Would have taken a pic but it came out awful as my mirror is in desperate need of cleaning, but I cbf :/ Shirt is super cute though!

Oh, and my hair is finally back to it's new favourite colour. Gone dark, as opposed to trying for reds that never work or just having highlights. I was sure my natural colour is a mousy brown, but I've noticed every time I use a non-permanent dye, I end up with red undertones, so it's possible that either a) there's still some red dye in my hair, which is impossible or b) over the years my underlying hair colour has acquired some auburn tones. I do not plan to stop dying my hair altogether just to find out :p

God I look like a hipster, except I don't have straight enough hair.

Finally a BREAK. Two weeks of freedom. Minus time spent on research proposal, which we all know is not going to happen, so back to two whole weeks of freedom!

Ugh. I really really hate going to Lynmall. I end up pretending to talk on my cell phone because I see all these people from high school who I really do NOT want to see ever again, let alone talk to. However I am too polite to tell them this, so I just have to somehow avoid them.

Eh. Agenda for break; e-mail tutor so I look like I'm writing my research proposal. Go shopping and blow my money on winter collections. Go house hunting (funnily enough we're going to look at one in New Lynn on Monday..). Dye my hair again. Get my music collection up to date. Spend time with special people <3. Deactivate my fucking Facebook account again because it won't stay dead.

What the fuck, did one of the Mint Chicks name his son Moebius? Please say that was early April Fools' joke.

On a smilar note, babies are pretty ugly but children are awesome. I blame the childfree for making me all broody, just because they all appear to have their heads shoved so far up their asses with their irrational hatred of children. I've never thought about kids until I decided to check out some childfree sites on a whim and the way these people behave just shocked me.

I get that you don't like them, and it's cool that you don't want them, but purposely avoiding donating to a charity just because it benefits children? Then spitting in the organization's face by telling them you don't think underprivileged, abused, sick children deserve money and are going to go donate the money to an animal shelter because animals are better than children in every way? There is something seriously fucked up in your head to be that cruel. I would link to the post, but I'm pretty sure they monitor trackbacks and will come flame me.

Oh.

Jess I know you read this. HOW DID YOU FIND MY DEAD TWITTER ACCCOUNT?!